With the 9th pick in the Basketball Feelings Feelings Draft, Haley O'Shaughnessy selects... VULNERABILITY

I’m sure and I hope that you know Haley O'Shaughnessy. She writes for The Ringer, has been relentlessly reminding people to demand justice for Breonna Taylor, and is more widely this joyful, take no shit, candid force. The ease that she slips between light and levelling in her writing or in conversation will make it so you catch yourself leaning imperceptibly forward in anticipation of the next thing. She’s also extremely funny with an easygoing warmth that quickly feels like familiarity and that’s been something, as we’ve swapped notes and stories, I’ve grown grateful for as two women claiming space in the still codified boys club of sports writing and the even smaller, occasionally frustrating sphere of basketball writing and media. This conversation took place over text, an hour that slipped by like condensation running down a cold drink on a hot day, or watching late afternoon light slide honey-slow across a quiet room — just a pleasure.

Haley O’Shaughnessy:

Ok, I have decided. I will be selecting vulnerability.

Katie Heindl:

A very, very good pick, a soft pick but not a “soft” pick at all. What, or maybe who, were you thinking of with that pick?

Haley:

I chose it for two reasons. The first is Aron Baynes. God bless Aron Baynes. This response took me so long [Commissioner’s note: It was only a five minute pause] because I was looking for a quote from something I read in high school. I can’t find it, but it was something along the lines of “soft means keeping yourself when it is most difficult”, which brings me to Aron John Baynes. 

Without confirming or even attempting to, I know that this man has been dunked on more than anyone in the history of the NBA. Actually, the history of basketball. There are entire youtube compilations of him being posterized. He was a meme before memes were memes, and now it’s almost not even about him anymore. It’s transcended him and it’s more of a rite of passage for the person dunking.

Katie:

I’m happy to confirm it, that really feels correct. Like he’s a generous springboard, also.

Haley:

I mean back to the soft thing, he’s literally a little bit soft. Some guys are muscular but the muscles still look soft. I don’t get it but we don’t body shame here, so.

Anyway it takes sooooooooo much vulnerability to run back into that paint every night, the very paint that betrayed you less than 48 hours before, and to put yourself at risk of being demeaned again.

[Commissioner’s note: The first SIX Google search results of “Aron Baynes dunked on” are video compilations of Aron Baynes being dunked on.]

Haley:

It’s eclipsed humiliation. 

Katie:

There’s a courage in being vulnerable, as you said, keeping yourself. Like staying soft when the world usually compels you to go the other way.

Haley:

Exactly. But he goes back anyway. Because his teams need that defense. As a city, Boston would renounce catholicism to have that defense again. He knows who he truly is under the basket, and is vulnerable for the greater good.

The SECOND reason I picked vulnerability was to brag. One time I called Erik Spoelstra to talk about one of his players for a story. We talked about the player’s offense etc, then ended up talking about a book we’d both read on vulnerability for 20 minutes. I hung up, so happy with the conversation, then realized I forgot to talk about the player.

Hm, I guess that’s actually a self-own.

Vulnerability!!!!!!!

Katie:

You’re living proof of the fortitude it takes! What was the book and did Spoels say if he’d adapted anything from it to his coaching? The Heat are weirdly an at face non-vulnerability team but on a closer inspection, totally are. It’s also very weird to me Baynes has never played for them, I felt it in my bones for a second that he did.

Haley:

Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. I had to read it in college. It’s very self-helpy. He said he put everything from that book into coaching. That’s actually why we started talking about it. He gave a copy to the player I called about.

I think any of these new wave “I’m your friend too” coaches like Spo and Brad [Stevens] adopt vulnerable leadership styles. The tough-lovin’-borderline-verbally-abusive coaches lack vulnerability because they can’t have it to maintain that specific power, which comes from creating a divide from their players (like i’m the boss and I get to yell, you don’t, we are not the same). Being vulnerable is being open enough to show your humanity.

The Heat are!! Even Jimmy, who people might think is the opposite, is vulnerable. Showing passion is showing you really care. Showing you really care about something is vulnerability. 

Do you remember when Goran Dragic had that patchy beard? We can also call that vulnerable.

Katie:

And when Jimmy cuts loose with his friends, or when he’s really hamming it up on court like blowing kisses to T.J. Warren, he’s so joyful but he’s also like showing a direct line to his heart.

Bam is also super vulnerable. Like I never considered Pat Riley vulnerable until I saw him in that all-beige power suit he wore to be interviewed for The Last Dance.

Haley:

Ok but he killed that.

Katie:

Yes I was very distinctly moved and also attracted.

Haley:

Now that we’re getting into the real basketball feelings...…

Katie:

It was the first preview I saw and I was like how soon is this coming out?

Haley:

Did you notice how young Phil Jackson’s legs went up to Canada??????

Katie:

SO long.

Haley:

I was like wow didn’t expect to come into the doc objectifying Phil Jackson but here we are.

Katie:

Old young ladder legs.

Phil and Pat —

Haley:

Phil is also VERY vulnerable. 

Katie:

— two old not vulnerable but actually extremely vulnerable coaches.

Yes!

Haley:

Read my mind. Phil more than Pat, but he is younger. Vulnerability rankings from that doc would be interesting because spot one would probably be, 1. Reinsdorf, for admitting he was into the rebuild idea knowing how much fucking heat would be thrown at him after that episode (or maybe he didn’t, his demeanour generally confuses me) and coming in at spots 145,783 and 145,784 are Krause and Michael Jordan.

Katie:

Pat is almost too alert to be vulnerable, like zeroed in at all times. He’s had his moments but you gotta come loose sometimes to get it. Like Phil on acid and Phil being a psycho about Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

And yeah, to your point, Michael Jordan has literally never come loose.

Haley:

Incredible reference. 

What was his most vulnerable moment in that? I think it was when he was in the car with Ahmad in ‘98 saying he doesn’t want to be carried off the court, he wants to walk off of it. 

Katie:

That or his dad. But his dad feels like a more complicated version of it. Like very open-ended. Kind of waiting, and he never seemed comfortable with waiting. Still doesn’t.

Haley:

MJ is a person who is itching to move at all times. When he was at his peak, he was already thinking about when to leave. He retired for a year, came back, then was thinking about leaving again. Now that he’s out it’s obvious he’s wanted to move back into that space again to challenge the new crowd of legends. I think he’s perpetually uncomfortable. 

Katie:

Which you’d think would incline him to vulnerability but he’s like fighting against it every step. And I don’t think it’s like an old guard vs modern player mentality. Like Stockton was very vulnerable! Rodman, whewf.

Haley:

I noticed recently that younger players now (Ja, my heart) use heart emojis when talking about other players they admire. That’s a softness (granted a very specific one that was literally not an option 35 years ago) that I don’t think was as acceptable in sport then. Though I say this and in the doc Doug Collins literally asks Jordan for a kiss in front of the media so reporters knew the two made up. But anyway, you’re right about it being distinctly Jordan. He holds his power in his feelings being inaccessible. 

Should I send Michael Jordan a Brene Brown book?

Katie:

Yes, with a dedication in the front but no other context or explanation.

Ok, because I am aware I’ve kept you now for an hour talking about feelings even though feelings make time fly, is there anyone or anything else that comes to mind when you think of vulnerability?

And/or any closing remarks about Aron Baynes.

Haley:

Yes, and this is a big one overall so I’ll make it quick. I think the impulse reaction to players saying “I want to be the best” or “I’m the best in the game” (hello, Dion Waiters calling himself a top-5 shooting guard in 2017) is to nod nicely because we’ve heard it a million times or to laugh. But imagine the courage it would take to announce a goal like that in any other profession. I want to be the best real estate agent that’s ever lived. Or the best teacher. Or even the best parent. It’s not even a thought that enters people’s heads.

There are millions of people in each professional field. Declaring in public to reporters that you want to be the best [blank] to ever live would seem ridiculous and immeasurable. And these players are saying it as kids (then as teenagers, then on their AAU teams, college, in some cases). Then, finally, they get to the league and announce their intentions. To not only get a raise (max money) or a promotion (which I guess would be moving to the starting 5) but that they plan to be better than the very best people who have done the thing they’re doing. That, my friend, is vulnerability.